Airduct Administration

Welcome!

Welcome to Airduct Administration. In this course we will be discussing Airduct neutrality; airduct hygiene, health and safety; airducts and spam; and spam spam airducts and spam.

Obviously, airduct administration is metaphorical, and actually this is a page about all forms of ventilation. First for some definitions. Someone who speaks through an airduct and you can't see their lips move is known as a Ventiloquist.

An Airduct must never EVER be confused with an Air Duck. Though this is a common mistake (particularly use of 'Duct tape' and 'Duck tape') an Air Duck is in fact a flying duck. This must not be confused with a flying fuck. What this page is not about, is flying fucks. Back to ventilation...

That's enough of a cover I think. On to the real reason we're here <_< >_>

Operation Airduct: New York New York

Let's twalk about nu Yawk...

Signing off, Agent Air Duck

Mission Brief: Intelligence have just informed us that there are some air-ducts in New York which require, well.... administering; thus necessitating a trip. Several good ducks have died to bring us this information....

New York City

Looking inconspicuous in New York City

Who's going anyway?

Volunteers with the appropriate qualifications are:

- Matt

- Elin

When to go

Possible times to go are:

- April/ May (during Elin's Easter hols)

- Early September (just before Elin goes back to uni)

Either way, I would have thought 10 days would be enough to do the job.

What to do

There are some suggestions in They Might Be Giants chronicle 'New York City' which outlines places most seriously affected by the Ventilation system meltdown:

"Statue of Liberty, Staten Island Ferry, Co-op City, Katz's and Tiffany's* Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, The Empire State where Dylan lived** Coney Island and Times Square, Rockefeller Center Wish I was there"

With this in mind, I have determined the most seriously affected areas as follows:

• Rockefeller Center This huge centre needs some attention. Just take a look at this: RC Camera - as you can see, really rather serious. I think it might be a good idea also to check out the top of the centre to get a good overview of the city: Top View

• Times Square - (apparently there's a Toys 'R' Us in Times Square that has an indoor ferris wheel among other things. A couple of people have suggested this...how random!)

• Empire State Building

• Central Park - things to do in Central Park include these 10 things

• Statue of Liberty

• The Battery, or 'Battery Park'

• Someone suggested the Feast of San Gennaro which is in mid-September and lasts for 11 days.

• We could also visit regional parts like Chinatown, Little Italy and SoHo.

• Chrysler Building

• "Take a trip to Brooklyn. Seriously. If you like cheesecake - go to Junior's. You won't be disappointed" -hmm...cheesecake..

• "Go downtown at South Street Seaport and get some half-price Broadway tickets. You can't come and NOT see a play."

• "Check out the Museum of Natural History"

• Brooklyn Bridge - Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, have an ice cream at the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory at Fulton Ferry Landing – perhaps the best place to take pictures of downtown skyscrapers.

• Greenwich Village

• "A Walk Through Harlem. Harlem is worth going to... Sylvia's is the standby, but there's also Sunday Brunch with the Harlem Gospel Choir..."

• The Daily Show - American equivalent to 'Have I got News for you'. Well, sort of. - clips can be found HERE ...and here and here.

Transport

Getting around in the Big Apple

Getting there in the first place

Getting around once we're there

Recommended film watching

Some of the best films set in New York are as follows:

Miracle on 34th Street, On the Town, Sabrina, Rear Window, Breakfast At Tiffany's, The Manchurian Candidate, Shaft, The Godfather (I, II & III), Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Ghostbusters, Crocodile Dundee, Highlander, Wall Street, Harlem Nights, When Harry Met Sally, Goodfellas, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Being John Malkovich, Eyes Wide Shut, American Psycho, Gangs of New York, Spiderman